Sacred Self Healing Arts

“Here’s the deal. The human soul does not want to be advised or fixed or saved. It wants to be witnessed-to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. When we make that kind of deep bow to the soul of a suffering person, our respect reinforces the soul’s healing resources, the only resources that help the sufferer through.”-Parker Palmer “The Gift of Presence, the Perils of Advice”

If Life Coaching school taught me anything worth taking a bow to, it is this! But this message was on the wings of living it out in real time. Life has a way of showing us what we need to learn, when we need to learn it. If we didn’t get the message the first time, the lesson seems to repeat itself in different forms until we are willing and ready to listen.

Have you ever sat along side a person in deep grief? Or maybe you are currently experiencing your own grief. The pain is unbearable at moments. The “fixer” in me has a deep desire to remove the pain. Can I say something funny? Something relieving? When I’ve tried these methods of “fixing” the pain, I’ve realized that these attempts are for my own comfort and not for the comfort of the suffering person. Tears are ok. They are healthy. They are a natural part of being a human. Sadness is inevitable. So how do we support a person who is suffering? We hold space, we sit along side them and we love them exactly as they are. Our deep respect for their pain will reinforce the soul’s healing process. Is it ok to not be ok sometimes? It is, and we can fight it, fake it and hold on for dear life, or we can take a bow. Stepping aside allows the emergence of new life to spring from the natural process of death and rebirth. It is the beauty and the pain of fully living alive. To be companioned through this process, with no agenda, is one of the greatest gifts that we can offer to another suffering soul.